10 Awkward, Uncomfortable, yet Amazing/Hilarious Things Only a Breastfeeding Mama Will Understand…

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It’s no secret: I love breastfeeding my son. I can’t help but get all sad when I think of the day when Liam and I will no longer have those tender nights, just the two of us… It’s depressing just thinking about it. My only consolation is thinking of all the benefits he will have reaped by then. By breastfeeding him (hopefully for a full year), I will have given him the best possible start in life.

As much as I love breastfeeding though, I am not in denial either: there are a few drawbacks. The fact that you can’t do anything that involves being away from your baby for more than 2.5 hours at a time, no wine (had to say it), engorged breasts, the fact that you can’t let grandma watch him for the night (unless you want to exhaust your precious frozen milk stash), and the awkwardness that it sometimes causes in public. Don’t lie, breastfeeding mama, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Here are 10 awkward, uncomfortable, yet amazing/hilarious things only a breastfeeding mom will understand:

1. Wearing a shirt with no bra is a bad idea (and will only last you about 30 minutes. tops.)

2. Being unable to sleep on your stomach because your boobs are too full. And you thought a 35 week pregnant belly was annoying…

3. When you’re the only one browsing Facebook, Instagram, and playing Words With Friends at 4:30 A.M.

4.Realizing all you want to wear are your nursing tank tops. So comfortable and practical (actually, you can’t remember the last time you wore an under-wire push up bra. Ouch. Never again.)

5. Trying to be slick with your nursing cover, but ending up flashing at least a dozen strangers in the process (not as easy as it looks, okay?)

6.When you realize you are an expert multi-tasker. Eating dinner while breastfeeding? Done. Grading papers? Easy. But if your phone or the remote control’s out of reach… Game over (how in the world did they do it back in the day without smart phones?)

7. Being terrified/paralyzed when you realize you have to transfer baby from breast to crib (it’s a 50/50 chance!)

8. Realizing you no longer need a boppy pillow to breastfeed and master the art of breastfeeding horizontally… and suddenly feel qualified to be a lactation consultant.

9. When your baby oversleeps and you wake up engorged (or just frantic, to check if he’s still breathing.)

10. When he’s asleep and you know you should place him in his crib, but he’s just so darn cute lying there in your arms, milk drunk… 🙂



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Johanna Riehm teaches in the department of Communication and Media at Manhattanville College and in the department of English at Mercy College. She teaches courses in the history of communication, public speaking, and social media, as well as creative and technical writing workshops. Johanna’s work has been featured in Graffiti Literary Magazine, The Write Place at the Write Time, The Bangalore Review, Cactus Heart Press, and the LaMothe Review. She is working on her first longer work, a creative nonfiction novel called We Carved Our Names in Tamarind Trees.

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